CHELSEA OWNER COMMITS SUICIDE?? BY STAR NEWSPAPER

London: 76 YEAR OLD AMERICAN TIN CAN OWNER ROMAN ABROMOBITCH WAS FOUND DEAD IN HIS HOME LOCATED UNDER A BRIDGE NEXT TO A DRAIN.. ACCORDING TO SOME SOURCE SOME SAY THEY FOUND A SIZE 12 BOOT SHOVED DOWN HIS MOUTH SIMILAR TO ANOTHER CASE WHERE 34 YEAR OLD DEFENDER JOHN TERRY WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED WHEN A BOOT SIZE 12 WAS STUCK IN HIS ANAL WHICH PREVENTED HIM FROM " MEMBUANGING AIR BESAR"... ROMAN WAS WELL KNOWN FOR HIS STUPIDNESS FAILING ALL MAJOR EXAMS IN HIS SCHOOL AND WAS ONCE A BAGGER AT BANGLADESH... SOON HIS FORTUNE CHANGE AS HE FOUND A RARE PEPSI CAN AND HE SET DOWN THINKIN WAT HE SHOULD DO WIT THIS USELESS TIN...AND THEN A BIRD GAVE HIM SHIT ON HIS HEAD WHICH ALLOWED HIM TO GET AN IDEA... ITS QUITE SIMILAR TO NEWTON SEATIN UNDER A TREE... HE GOT THE IDEA WHERE HE SHOULD RECYCLE TINS AND THIS BROUGHT HIM WHERE HE IS NOW... OWNING ONE OF THE CHEAPEST CLUB IN LONDON HE TURN THIS GREAT CLUB INTO A LOSING STREAK NEVER WINNING A TITLE... BUT AS THE SAYIN GOES " WHEN JIPS TOUCHES A PIPE , IT GETS HARD ALWAYS", I PERSONALLY DUN KNOW WAT TAT MEANS BUT IT SOUNDS GOOD... SOME SAY HE WAS BLACMAILED BY PJ WHO TREATENED TO GO ONE ON ONE WIT HIM IN BASKETBALL... AS WE ALL KNOW PJ IS THE "MISSING MACHINE" THATS WAT WE CALL HIM... HE IS VERY GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES... SOME PPL SAY THAT HIS TIN CAN BUSINESS WAS SOON GONNA GO BANKRUP AND DECIDED TO SELL TO ALEX FERGUSON BUT ALEX COULDNT TAKE OVER BECAUSE HE WAS BLIND,STUPID AND HIS FACE GLOWS VERY RED ALL THE TIME... SOME ALSO SAY ROMAN TRIPPED AND FELL ON A PAIR OF "ASADIS" WHICH CAUSE IT TO GET STUCK IN HIS MOUTH... WELL I WILL KEPP U UPDATED IN THE NEWS OF OUR DEARLY BELOVED FREK OF NATUR ROMAN